Do you board your pups? Do you use Doggievacay? Here's my story. It began with the simple idea of giving my dog fabulous play dates with other dogs, helping to mentor, socialize and train dogs, get them out of crates and give them a great time all while wearing out my resident Doberman in the process. I was doggievacaying Lincoln puppy. They got along famously. Lincoln was a very good puppy but at one point, he decided to get interested in a $2500 real fur throw I had 'put up'. You just cannot puppy proof everything, they find it. Just as you absolutely cannot watch a child every minute, you cannot watch a pup either, not at every second. And it only takes seconds for damage. Lincoln got quiet. Rhett alerted so I walked over and saw that the pup had chewed away several holes before I could grab it back from him. Another pup looked up ever so sweetly at me and then bent over and puked all over my then running Roomba that was, prior to the offending vomit, vacuuming my floor with aplomb. The same puppy also gave my boy kennel cough, which just took a few days to heal naturally, but adding insult here, the pup parent didn't even bother to rate me on the site, even when reminded a couple of times that their input was valuable. It was a 3k loss just in the fur and vacuum, which was just the tip of the damage iceberg suffered over the few years I did this. Doggievacay was not a money maker for me at all, but Rhett sure enjoyed the company! I liked that because of me and others like me, these pups had an actual home to stay in rather than a kennel. What a community service!
The issue with boarding pets, and Doggievacay is a great idea, is that it takes everyone a while to acclimate and for your individual dogs personality and proclivities to present themselves. With an actual kennel stay, your pup has little opportunity to soil or damage anything because he is either out in a yard, walked or in his crate. Your pup is going to be far happier at my house (or at some other house via Doggievacay.) But don't ever believe it was easy money for the boarder, no matter how brightly they smile at you when you pick your dog up.
No matter how well behaved you believe your pup to be, the fact is, your dog is going to act differently at my house, at least the first day or two where we set guidelines repeatedly and learn each other. The only exception is with a more mature dog because they tend to be more stoic, they've probably been kenneled some place in the past, stayed over at someones home before and know the ropes. one of my favourite old men was Haans the German Rottweiler. He was 11 and magnificent! I went up $5.00 a night on my price and I stopped seeing Haans which was sad because a nightly stay was only $40.00. As I only kept one pup at a time to allow for full hands on support, I felt my pricing was more than a bargain. But even with Haans, at first he wasn't sure what was happening or why and he waited by the front door awhile before I coaxed him away to relax and play with Rhett. They're like a child but they just cannot speak English and while dogs, if you work with them, can be bi-lingual, understand sentences that you speak, etc, everyone has different ques and it takes a while to get the communication across to them. Our Rhett knows a lot of English and can understand sentence strings. But this is when we speak to him and our habitual word formations we use. Staying elsewhere, someone may structure their words differently, and Rhett will have to think about what that now means to him. For example, rather than 'no shenanigans' which means to Rhett, 'behave' someone might say 'don't act up' or 'behave'. Rhett won't know what that means because he's been taught shenanigans. So, other than dog language which I am fairly expert at by now, we must learn how to find the human language middle ground so we fully understand one another. With repeated stays, things get better. Its exactly like locating a babysitter for your human child. When you find one that works, you really should just stick with that because its far less disruptive to all parties.
By the 2nd stay, your dog is jumping for joy as you round the corner to park at my house. He is skipping out of the car, running up my front steps because he knows the drill, doesn't sit by the front door pouting and bummed out when you leave now. No, he understands the situation, he has already grabbed the nearest toy and is rough housing with Rhett while we greet each other and I take your food, toys and supplies from you. Your pup gets it that he will be staying with me a few days, having great fun with Rhett and he is calm and happy because he understands he is loved and safe here. He knows the house rules by now so all we may need is a refresher, and he has decided I am ok too. He is far less likely to get into nervous destructive chewing because he is aware of what has taken place, that fun as this is, it is temporary and you, the adored pup parent, will be back for him.
If your 10lb dog was afraid of big dogs, he is already comfortable with our 116lb charmer of a Doberman. His socialization training continues. If your boundary pushing dog is back, he knows now who runs the show and training continues. If your dog was on a special diet or meds, I already know so you don't need to repeat yourself. This truly is a vacation for your dog while you are off and on your way!
But folks are always looking for the best 'deal' to stow their pup, they don't bring them over for a stay often enough and many many times only the once. Damage happens and there are never enough stays to equal out the damage done. In the above mentioned examples, I told neither of these pet parents what transpired. It wasn't their fault and I was hopeful they would book with me again and, over years, word of mouth, great reviews etc, I would recover the costs involved, build a loyal clientele, and Rhett would enjoy a bevy of great play dates.
When we moved, I let it all go. I still have that holy fur. No, I don't buy new fur, this was vintage fur done into a throw and sure was gorgeous. When considering boarding your pet, do look at reviews, visit the place, do the meet and greet. I was very surprised by how many folks wanted to blow that off and I refused to just keep a dog without the greeting. It is important for the pups to meet and also the humans. Your dog needs to meet my dog while you are here and can stay a few minutes. This builds confidence in your dog while he gets to know my place and my dog. I need to go over with you what to bring for your dogs stay, such as favorite blanket, something with your scent, toys, meds, as well as review habits, meds or any issues the pup may have. You need to meet me to understand my qualifications for managing your pup while you are away. Why am I worth $40.00 a day? What is the overall vibe, what does my dog look like and act like? How do I look and act? How's my house, chaotic or peaceful? Are there already 99 dogs running around because if there are, I have zero time left to invest in your pets well being. The signs you see are all clear indications of how I am going to handle and maintain your dog. Meeting me will provide you a comfort level of my expertise.
Costs are less than your typical kennel day rate. Don't cheap out on this. You do get what you pay for. Rather than putting your dog in the hands of someone that just 'loves dogs' get someone with experience, knowledge. I suggest tipping well too because finding someone good that your dog loves, and maintaining that routine for your dog is so great for him emotionally. If you travel infrequently, bring your pup over periodically for just an afternoon play date or one overnight stay. It gives you a break and maintains the routine and comfort level for your pup. I got into this when I saw how our Rhett was left in a crate basically all day. He was exercised twice a day but crated the whole rest of the time. Ouch! So the better way is, by far, DoggieVacay. Just do your due diligence and understand, respect and honor the fact your dog will, ideally, be living in someones home rather than in a crate. What a gift, please treat it that way. :)
Monday, April 18, 2016
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Employee Retention
I have written quite a lot and am passionate about our (US) Corporate Backslide. The US has become greed based. We are no longer human/employee centric. We have forgotten that it is the good and mindful employee who truly is the face of the company, affecting its success or failure. In the 50's, corporations offered a fair trade: Give up your individuality, the opportunity to control and own your business, along with both the headaches, overhead and rewards you might grow and pass down through the family. And, instead, work for us! Perhaps even your kids will too. We will pay you fairly, offer you security, reasonable 5 day work weeks, 8 hour work days, vacation time and retirement, all this in exchange for your dedication, and your loyalty. While that is still significantly different that our European comrades, who really have the balance down, this was a start. And back then, I think we all felt new technology would mean less work more leisure time. Again, greed got in our way.
Corporations today have loyalty to taking in as much money as possible and have limited loyalty to their employees. While this is nothing personal, it is teaching the next generation that loyalty to anything other than self is not where the payoff is. The smart money today is on getting the experience you need, fast as you can and at the top dollar you can get for it. Employment becomes resume butterflies (something pretty & impressive to look at) to better market you, the individual as you float to your new experience.
Don't most folks today stay just as long as they see regularly increasing revenue and skillsets and nothing better immediately on the near horizon?
I also believe the existing Corporate focus will shift us back into an entrepreneurial driven society. For anyone that has great translatable skills, this will be how they pay it forward and build something for their families with retirement at a corporation no longer an option.
Retention? Fair money in exchange for talent/hours given, being respectful, keeping the atmosphere fun and open is what makes being at work a joy.
Corporations today have loyalty to taking in as much money as possible and have limited loyalty to their employees. While this is nothing personal, it is teaching the next generation that loyalty to anything other than self is not where the payoff is. The smart money today is on getting the experience you need, fast as you can and at the top dollar you can get for it. Employment becomes resume butterflies (something pretty & impressive to look at) to better market you, the individual as you float to your new experience.
Don't most folks today stay just as long as they see regularly increasing revenue and skillsets and nothing better immediately on the near horizon?
I also believe the existing Corporate focus will shift us back into an entrepreneurial driven society. For anyone that has great translatable skills, this will be how they pay it forward and build something for their families with retirement at a corporation no longer an option.
Retention? Fair money in exchange for talent/hours given, being respectful, keeping the atmosphere fun and open is what makes being at work a joy.
Leading By Lawsuit Rather Than Leading By Ethics
I am seeing an alarming slide continue in the Corporate world. We have HR which ostensibly protects both the company and its employees. We have an Ethics Hotline and an 'Open Door' policy. And none of this prevents managers refusing vacation time, bereavement
time or helping out the over worked with comp time as appropriate.
Great companies are built upon the backbone of its stellar employees. Stellar does not mean you have no personal life or have the opinion that life at your company would cease to exist were you to take some time off. What it means is that you work diligently, get the job done, are easy to work with, a team player who can be counted on. You work an average of 40 hours a week and make that count. That is all you should ever have to work, an average of 40 hours.
No matter who you are, 12 hour days, non stop, are not a badge of honor; they are a sign that either you or your company is out of balance and is not efficient. I am not talking of folks who work such shifts as 10 hour days 4 days a week with 3 days off; that has balance to it. I am talking of folks who get paid to work 40 hour weeks (Exempt) but end up with enough work to keep 3 people too busy and the expectation that they owe the company their personal time beyond the 8 hours actually paid for.
When a corporation loses sight of at least pretending to care about its employees, they run afoul. In this age where a job cannot be counted on, it becomes ever more important to treat employees fairly while they are employed, with the highest of ethics, to mitigate lawsuits. A neighbor commented during a recent conversation that nowadays, Corporations don't act appropriately until they get sued. This would be why there are so many class action lawsuits the last 15+ years and ramping up. It doesn't have to be that way. Workers, by accepting the paycheck, it is legally incumbent upon you to work your level best and to treat your work as if you owned the company, meaning doing the right thing every day. Corporations, treat your employees right, work load balance appropriately when you see someone drowning in work. Assure your team takes their PTO, mentor, coach and counsel and document and write up employees with issues as is necessary. Corporations, know that when we worker-bees see peers who lose their parents and are forced into giving up their bereavement time, it makes all of us that see this, spitting nails angry. We want acknowledgement for being good employees and we hold the Corporation accountable for removal of dead weight non performers. Yes, all of us are tracking and documenting too, and we'd all prefer not to have to lawyer up to get a real work and life balance, to actually get back our private time! We just want to be treated well at work please and allowed to go home.
http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/stop-unreasonably-long.fb48?source=s.icn.fb&r_by=14608049
time or helping out the over worked with comp time as appropriate.
Great companies are built upon the backbone of its stellar employees. Stellar does not mean you have no personal life or have the opinion that life at your company would cease to exist were you to take some time off. What it means is that you work diligently, get the job done, are easy to work with, a team player who can be counted on. You work an average of 40 hours a week and make that count. That is all you should ever have to work, an average of 40 hours.
No matter who you are, 12 hour days, non stop, are not a badge of honor; they are a sign that either you or your company is out of balance and is not efficient. I am not talking of folks who work such shifts as 10 hour days 4 days a week with 3 days off; that has balance to it. I am talking of folks who get paid to work 40 hour weeks (Exempt) but end up with enough work to keep 3 people too busy and the expectation that they owe the company their personal time beyond the 8 hours actually paid for.
When a corporation loses sight of at least pretending to care about its employees, they run afoul. In this age where a job cannot be counted on, it becomes ever more important to treat employees fairly while they are employed, with the highest of ethics, to mitigate lawsuits. A neighbor commented during a recent conversation that nowadays, Corporations don't act appropriately until they get sued. This would be why there are so many class action lawsuits the last 15+ years and ramping up. It doesn't have to be that way. Workers, by accepting the paycheck, it is legally incumbent upon you to work your level best and to treat your work as if you owned the company, meaning doing the right thing every day. Corporations, treat your employees right, work load balance appropriately when you see someone drowning in work. Assure your team takes their PTO, mentor, coach and counsel and document and write up employees with issues as is necessary. Corporations, know that when we worker-bees see peers who lose their parents and are forced into giving up their bereavement time, it makes all of us that see this, spitting nails angry. We want acknowledgement for being good employees and we hold the Corporation accountable for removal of dead weight non performers. Yes, all of us are tracking and documenting too, and we'd all prefer not to have to lawyer up to get a real work and life balance, to actually get back our private time! We just want to be treated well at work please and allowed to go home.
http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/stop-unreasonably-long.fb48?source=s.icn.fb&r_by=14608049
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
What I Want My Employer To Know or The Customer Who Screamed At Me While Sitting In My Porsche
Having been in the Corporate world for 25 years now and have a message that all bosses should hear.
I want my Manager to really look into the entire value add of each individual. Begin this task by asking for annual peer reviews, submitted by both peers and team members who have worked on a project together. Take the comments seriously.
I want my Employer to realize the only difference in an hourly employee and a salary one is that before I got paid for each hour of work and today I work for free and sometimes maybe 16+ hour days. And, what exactly IS salary plus, whereby a worker works what I call 'over employed' hours and gets half their rate of pay? Does that mean the employee should work at half their rate of expertise? Sorry, but that is what I would feel like doing if I were in that situation. But I am not. Instead I work for free...not happy about that one either.
The people who are motivated to get the job done and take pride in their work, are the very same people you have employed here today, be they hourly or salary and salary plus should be revamped as it is, as it stands, very insulting.
The same goof offs remain either at an hourly rate or a salaried one and if salaried it probably means me or someone else is doing their work because they aren't. (see Peer Review suggestion above)
I tend to work very quietly and absorb everything because I believe that if my job is done correctly, my manager is not spending time on escalations but on reports. Please acknowledge that quiet is good.
I want my Employer to know that on that account with the weekly escalations which ceased after the account was assigned to me; That wasn't luck, and it wasn't that I had a cush base with not much going on. It was because I had done a Vulcan mind meld with the customer, anticipated needs and next steps, provided prompt answers and got things done promptly, explained delays and issues preventing implementation with enough detail that the customer saw no benefit in an escalation because the customer realized if an escalation was necessary then I would do that better, knowing who, exactly, to escalate the concern to.
Please understand that the sane folks who work for you, really hate working 12 hour days because we want and do have a life apart from our career...at least we did before we started working all those long hours. 8 hours is already a very long stretch. If a stellar employee is 'overemployed' this means you, dear Employer, are either understaffed or the work load is unequally balanced. That's not my fault and I am not your band aide so please FIX that please! And YES, we do want compensation for all the 'non paid over-employed' hours and no, we do not want to be in the position of having to ask you for it, it should be obvious to you and freely given. This is time out of our life, time we would prefer to spend with family, working out or walking the dog. Instead, this time was donated to you, company, so please recognize that we only put in the long days because it was necessary to keep the base from exploding, work left undone, with resultant escalations or account (revenue) loss. We may love what we do, but just prefer not to be 'overemployed' at it. As a bonus, a balanced employee brings more to everything they do at work; a true value add and with lower healthcare costs. Shine By Example! I want my Employer to notice and appreciate when I volunteer to cover folks while they are out, change or even cancel vacation time to help out on a project. I want you to know how much all the kind words in my annual review mean to me, even if there is no raise and that I struggle all of the time to balance what I have with what I want, (that freakin raise) to remain humble and thankful. I want my Employer to know that I take a lot of pride in my work and in managing the challenges, even when one time this customer, who is a friend now, screamed at me during a meeting that I on purpose took from my Porsche so that I would have something lovely to look at while I got my arse handed to me. It is specifically for the thrill of turning a bad customer situation good that I love what I do. I want my Employer to understand that Customer Whisperer is a skill (and maybe worth a raise). I want EVERYBODY to know that when I am working from home, (that includes you, Mother!) I am working at home. I am at my home office and it doesn't matter that I am a block away, no I cannot take you grocery shopping while my employer foots the bill for my time. I do not have it easy, I am not working light days or sipping bloody marys and cold chilling with the TV on, bored out of my skull waiting for you to call me to chat. 98% of the time, the employee who overachieves at the office, will go and do so at home. It doesn't matter where they are, they are committed. If their base is busy, they are busy. Likewise, the employee who sluffs off at work and carts around Avon products to sell up and down cube isles instead of doing their job (yep, we really had one of those) is not going to somehow mystically become a value add at home. Please, Dear God in heaven, do not point her out and exclaim how people who work from home, don't do as good a job. Manager, you knew she was selling Avon at work and that work had no affiliation with Avon so it is your fault; own it and stop pointing the finger at all the great workers who work from home. Mother, call HE, the Avon lady, to take you shopping! Spoiler Alert! Working from home does not spoil me either, not when I am over employed, working my typical long hours. On the fleeting occasions that I enjoy an 8 hour day, then, yes, thank you, I have now saved gas, time in driving in, have put in a load of laundry on my break and straightened up the coffee table so I am quite thankful. And if my days were all like this, oh my, I would be very spoiled. But it was a very bad call when while working 12 and 16 hour days on an 18 month project, my then manager said I was so spoiled to be able to work from home. I want my Employer to understand 'timing'. I want my Employer to understand the truth is that no, it is my Employer who is spoiled and that I can only support all of this overemployment time because I can roll out of bed, not brush my hair, work in my jammies and let my house and personal life become a real wreck. If my Employer expected me to actually drive in some place and look reasonable and do a 12 hour + day well, that would be a real deal breaker! I want my Employer to know that I feel decently paid for an 8 hour day and exceedingly under paid during the times I am over employed. Let's please work hard on load balancing so that my future is so bright I gotta wear shades. I don't really care how bad you say the economy is or isn't because I give my best I want the best given back. I want some real appreciation for all of the folks who are great at being a team player. It's not easy and some folks who work here really make it much harder than it needs to be. Those of us who team play very well hope that the management is taking names and doing coaching and counselling at some point because psssst some of those problem children are still here. It doesnt matter how good they sell, how great they schmooze. What matters is the entire package, meaning that they don't burn up all that sales revenue in management and unnecessary chaos and micromanagement of the downstream groups. Once, a sales rep blamed someone on her team for something she actually had done that caused a serious customer event. The stress this caused on the wrongly blamed person, nearly caused her to lose her baby. She was rushed to the hospital and placed on bedrest the remainder of the term. Years go by but I still wonder why that sales rep is still employed here. I want my Manager to fearlessly tell it like it is to the EVPs, to my CEO and anybody else that will listen, to share and not bury the truth. Otherwise the candle of light remains in the dark, no help to anyone. Everything is a balance. Each employee, over the course of their history, from the top down, should exhibit balance in management of the company. It is encumbent upon the top management of the company to edify that balance and expect this balance to be passed down to all employees, regardless of whether they are exempt or non exempt. It is encumbent upon all of us to share the truth.
I want my Manager to really look into the entire value add of each individual. Begin this task by asking for annual peer reviews, submitted by both peers and team members who have worked on a project together. Take the comments seriously.
I want my Employer to realize the only difference in an hourly employee and a salary one is that before I got paid for each hour of work and today I work for free and sometimes maybe 16+ hour days. And, what exactly IS salary plus, whereby a worker works what I call 'over employed' hours and gets half their rate of pay? Does that mean the employee should work at half their rate of expertise? Sorry, but that is what I would feel like doing if I were in that situation. But I am not. Instead I work for free...not happy about that one either.
The people who are motivated to get the job done and take pride in their work, are the very same people you have employed here today, be they hourly or salary and salary plus should be revamped as it is, as it stands, very insulting.
The same goof offs remain either at an hourly rate or a salaried one and if salaried it probably means me or someone else is doing their work because they aren't. (see Peer Review suggestion above)
I tend to work very quietly and absorb everything because I believe that if my job is done correctly, my manager is not spending time on escalations but on reports. Please acknowledge that quiet is good.
I want my Employer to know that on that account with the weekly escalations which ceased after the account was assigned to me; That wasn't luck, and it wasn't that I had a cush base with not much going on. It was because I had done a Vulcan mind meld with the customer, anticipated needs and next steps, provided prompt answers and got things done promptly, explained delays and issues preventing implementation with enough detail that the customer saw no benefit in an escalation because the customer realized if an escalation was necessary then I would do that better, knowing who, exactly, to escalate the concern to.
Please understand that the sane folks who work for you, really hate working 12 hour days because we want and do have a life apart from our career...at least we did before we started working all those long hours. 8 hours is already a very long stretch. If a stellar employee is 'overemployed' this means you, dear Employer, are either understaffed or the work load is unequally balanced. That's not my fault and I am not your band aide so please FIX that please! And YES, we do want compensation for all the 'non paid over-employed' hours and no, we do not want to be in the position of having to ask you for it, it should be obvious to you and freely given. This is time out of our life, time we would prefer to spend with family, working out or walking the dog. Instead, this time was donated to you, company, so please recognize that we only put in the long days because it was necessary to keep the base from exploding, work left undone, with resultant escalations or account (revenue) loss. We may love what we do, but just prefer not to be 'overemployed' at it. As a bonus, a balanced employee brings more to everything they do at work; a true value add and with lower healthcare costs. Shine By Example! I want my Employer to notice and appreciate when I volunteer to cover folks while they are out, change or even cancel vacation time to help out on a project. I want you to know how much all the kind words in my annual review mean to me, even if there is no raise and that I struggle all of the time to balance what I have with what I want, (that freakin raise) to remain humble and thankful. I want my Employer to know that I take a lot of pride in my work and in managing the challenges, even when one time this customer, who is a friend now, screamed at me during a meeting that I on purpose took from my Porsche so that I would have something lovely to look at while I got my arse handed to me. It is specifically for the thrill of turning a bad customer situation good that I love what I do. I want my Employer to understand that Customer Whisperer is a skill (and maybe worth a raise). I want EVERYBODY to know that when I am working from home, (that includes you, Mother!) I am working at home. I am at my home office and it doesn't matter that I am a block away, no I cannot take you grocery shopping while my employer foots the bill for my time. I do not have it easy, I am not working light days or sipping bloody marys and cold chilling with the TV on, bored out of my skull waiting for you to call me to chat. 98% of the time, the employee who overachieves at the office, will go and do so at home. It doesn't matter where they are, they are committed. If their base is busy, they are busy. Likewise, the employee who sluffs off at work and carts around Avon products to sell up and down cube isles instead of doing their job (yep, we really had one of those) is not going to somehow mystically become a value add at home. Please, Dear God in heaven, do not point her out and exclaim how people who work from home, don't do as good a job. Manager, you knew she was selling Avon at work and that work had no affiliation with Avon so it is your fault; own it and stop pointing the finger at all the great workers who work from home. Mother, call HE, the Avon lady, to take you shopping! Spoiler Alert! Working from home does not spoil me either, not when I am over employed, working my typical long hours. On the fleeting occasions that I enjoy an 8 hour day, then, yes, thank you, I have now saved gas, time in driving in, have put in a load of laundry on my break and straightened up the coffee table so I am quite thankful. And if my days were all like this, oh my, I would be very spoiled. But it was a very bad call when while working 12 and 16 hour days on an 18 month project, my then manager said I was so spoiled to be able to work from home. I want my Employer to understand 'timing'. I want my Employer to understand the truth is that no, it is my Employer who is spoiled and that I can only support all of this overemployment time because I can roll out of bed, not brush my hair, work in my jammies and let my house and personal life become a real wreck. If my Employer expected me to actually drive in some place and look reasonable and do a 12 hour + day well, that would be a real deal breaker! I want my Employer to know that I feel decently paid for an 8 hour day and exceedingly under paid during the times I am over employed. Let's please work hard on load balancing so that my future is so bright I gotta wear shades. I don't really care how bad you say the economy is or isn't because I give my best I want the best given back. I want some real appreciation for all of the folks who are great at being a team player. It's not easy and some folks who work here really make it much harder than it needs to be. Those of us who team play very well hope that the management is taking names and doing coaching and counselling at some point because psssst some of those problem children are still here. It doesnt matter how good they sell, how great they schmooze. What matters is the entire package, meaning that they don't burn up all that sales revenue in management and unnecessary chaos and micromanagement of the downstream groups. Once, a sales rep blamed someone on her team for something she actually had done that caused a serious customer event. The stress this caused on the wrongly blamed person, nearly caused her to lose her baby. She was rushed to the hospital and placed on bedrest the remainder of the term. Years go by but I still wonder why that sales rep is still employed here. I want my Manager to fearlessly tell it like it is to the EVPs, to my CEO and anybody else that will listen, to share and not bury the truth. Otherwise the candle of light remains in the dark, no help to anyone. Everything is a balance. Each employee, over the course of their history, from the top down, should exhibit balance in management of the company. It is encumbent upon the top management of the company to edify that balance and expect this balance to be passed down to all employees, regardless of whether they are exempt or non exempt. It is encumbent upon all of us to share the truth.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Random Acts of Crazy - My Mother
I used to hear my husband, in hushed tones to his side of the family prior to marriage exclaiming "she is not related by blood, so it's ok." While I am adopted, in all honesty, everyone else in the family is just fine, thank you. My brothers, John and Dody are both within the levels agreed upon as acting with sanity. Mother, however, is plain crazy, always has been.
Trying to get the family back together, I've staged gatherings at the house and tried to get relatives far flung together for awhile. Mother and brother Dody now live accross the alley from me in a retirement home. Brother John, in Seattle and with a schedule perhaps even busier than mine.
She is a master at keeping the attention focused on her. She's 84 but relatively healthy. She likes to speak of her immenent death in front of my terminally ill with bone cancer brother Dody. Every holiday includes a missive from her about dying. In fact, she told Michael and I not to invite her to our wedding 15 years back because she would be dying soon.
So the visit with my brothers was so nice. And the entire time was spent with all of us leaving her alone at some point on the sofa to go someplace else, kitchen, balcony, porch, to get a breather before diving back into dealing with her.
Michael prepared a lovely lunch feast to take to the winery, paying attention to her food preferences. But on the way there, we hear "I've changed my mind,Times Ten is for young people, take me home." Then she wanted to bolt home as lunch was being served the next day. And, no, she did not want to rejoin us after resting, for dinner that evening with cousin Steve (one of her very favorite people). I finally had to ask, since John was leaving the following day, should he just call his good bye to her? She got silent and I interjected that it was her choice being made to separate from her sons and her family because somehow she was trying to pin this one on me, much like everything else. John was only here 3 days for pete's sake. But I guess all the attetion was just not on her. Most hurtful is her rants about what a bad daughter I am, that I have not been there for her or done enough for her lately or, even worse, stolen money from her. She claimed, while my brothers were visiting that when she was laid up, a few years ago, I paid her bills and took out an extra $300.00 for myself. In reality, we've bought so much for her, from furniture to groceries over the years, I am just shocked she'd go into a lie like that. She is on a tiny stipend that I subsidize routinely. But our subsidy has substantially reduced in scale over the last few years due to her ungreatful attitude and blame. It made us both so weary giving and giving and getting blamed. We still do things for her, but on a much more limited basis, on our time not hers.
My husband was so good, dealing with her this week, because we had to pick her up each day to visit over here with Dody and John, whereas, we normally limit our visits with her to once or twice a month because she is so intollerable when seen too much. Fran hates everything, people, life, her apartment, living and dying. It gets old hearing it. She sees a Mexican and shouts 'Oh, run him over!' whiile we are riding in the car together.
You can't fix stupid and you can't fix crazy...not when crazy doesn't want to be fixed. Now that John is back in Seattle, I am taking some time away from mommy dearest to decompress.
Upon her death I am going to try very very very hard to think on the good times. We, none of us, can ever take back what is said. Mother is a great lesson on what not to do and what not to say.
Trying to get the family back together, I've staged gatherings at the house and tried to get relatives far flung together for awhile. Mother and brother Dody now live accross the alley from me in a retirement home. Brother John, in Seattle and with a schedule perhaps even busier than mine.
She is a master at keeping the attention focused on her. She's 84 but relatively healthy. She likes to speak of her immenent death in front of my terminally ill with bone cancer brother Dody. Every holiday includes a missive from her about dying. In fact, she told Michael and I not to invite her to our wedding 15 years back because she would be dying soon.
So the visit with my brothers was so nice. And the entire time was spent with all of us leaving her alone at some point on the sofa to go someplace else, kitchen, balcony, porch, to get a breather before diving back into dealing with her.
Michael prepared a lovely lunch feast to take to the winery, paying attention to her food preferences. But on the way there, we hear "I've changed my mind,Times Ten is for young people, take me home." Then she wanted to bolt home as lunch was being served the next day. And, no, she did not want to rejoin us after resting, for dinner that evening with cousin Steve (one of her very favorite people). I finally had to ask, since John was leaving the following day, should he just call his good bye to her? She got silent and I interjected that it was her choice being made to separate from her sons and her family because somehow she was trying to pin this one on me, much like everything else. John was only here 3 days for pete's sake. But I guess all the attetion was just not on her. Most hurtful is her rants about what a bad daughter I am, that I have not been there for her or done enough for her lately or, even worse, stolen money from her. She claimed, while my brothers were visiting that when she was laid up, a few years ago, I paid her bills and took out an extra $300.00 for myself. In reality, we've bought so much for her, from furniture to groceries over the years, I am just shocked she'd go into a lie like that. She is on a tiny stipend that I subsidize routinely. But our subsidy has substantially reduced in scale over the last few years due to her ungreatful attitude and blame. It made us both so weary giving and giving and getting blamed. We still do things for her, but on a much more limited basis, on our time not hers.
My husband was so good, dealing with her this week, because we had to pick her up each day to visit over here with Dody and John, whereas, we normally limit our visits with her to once or twice a month because she is so intollerable when seen too much. Fran hates everything, people, life, her apartment, living and dying. It gets old hearing it. She sees a Mexican and shouts 'Oh, run him over!' whiile we are riding in the car together.
You can't fix stupid and you can't fix crazy...not when crazy doesn't want to be fixed. Now that John is back in Seattle, I am taking some time away from mommy dearest to decompress.
Upon her death I am going to try very very very hard to think on the good times. We, none of us, can ever take back what is said. Mother is a great lesson on what not to do and what not to say.
Sephora As Scrooge
I've been shopping at Sephora for decades....yeah, DECADES. Not after this week. It began first with my not receiving anything as a beauty insider but what I really wanted was a price match because their competition had the same exact thing for the same price, less a 20% off discount just for Christmas.
Since the 20% would have saved me $82.00, this is a big deal. I plan to refuse shipment since it took 3 days for Sephora to actually respond with any firm answer. But how sad that a decent sized company would rather piss off and alienate their customer base instead of giving during the holiday season when their competition is.
Buy Bye Sephora....
Since the 20% would have saved me $82.00, this is a big deal. I plan to refuse shipment since it took 3 days for Sephora to actually respond with any firm answer. But how sad that a decent sized company would rather piss off and alienate their customer base instead of giving during the holiday season when their competition is.
Buy Bye Sephora....
Friday, August 17, 2012
Collection Calls on my Dying Brother
Dear representative who is trying to collect a balance due from Carl E Clark:
Carl is my brother. He is terminal with bone cancer. While working, he sent his money home via Direct Deposit, to his girlfriend, Carol Noren, of 18 years who was ostensibly paying all the bills and managing his funds. As a truck driver, he was home about 30 days out of the year. I suppose Carol got real used to spending his money and not having him around.
In September 2011, when he returned home to his girlfriend, broken, disabled and dying, she sent him, to Dallas on a one way ticket. Without any approvals from me. No, I had no idea she was just going to ship off a brother I’d not seen in 20 years for me to take care of now that he was underfoot and not earning.
Before Carol stopped working over 15 years ago (if you don’t consider cheating my brother a carreer), Carol was a financial planner and managed two Edward Jones locations. She has maintained her own retirement accounts so I am sure she looks real good on paper. After requesting the records, I was the money trails of her transferring cash over from their joint account to her own personal account month after month, year after year. She was entrusted with assuring they had a good retirement to fall back on. But I guess she was just concerned that SHE had a good retirement.
He arrived in Dallas with $60.00 in his wallet. And that would be it.
Now that he is getting some social security payments, I have been sending in payments toward his balance, as he has enough money left over to do so.
But now I receive all these ‘demand’ letters, telling me I am late in paying and how my cooperation is urgently needed. NOTHING in this world is more urgent than death. Honestly people! These balances are small. They are the residual of what is left AFTER Carl’s insurance paid you the bulk. Let it go.
Carol had supposedly paid all his old medical balances. And now, each week I get letters forwarded where she has scratched her address (that my brother paid for) off the bills. Keep in mind, these are bills my brother has never seen, never got the original or what was or wasn’t filed with insurance so we are pretty much having to trust that you are not overcharging.
Her is the plan. While he breathes air, I will, unless further harassed, continue to pay based upon whatever cash is available, monthly or bi monthly, until he either expires or you are paid off. ALL further payments stop if I get even one more call or harassing letter over this.
The man doesn’t have a credit rating to F with. And I doubt where he is going an 800 credit score is going to do much for him. So cease and desist with the nasty letters . Got it? Thank you.
Regards,
Karmah
Carl is my brother. He is terminal with bone cancer. While working, he sent his money home via Direct Deposit, to his girlfriend, Carol Noren, of 18 years who was ostensibly paying all the bills and managing his funds. As a truck driver, he was home about 30 days out of the year. I suppose Carol got real used to spending his money and not having him around.
In September 2011, when he returned home to his girlfriend, broken, disabled and dying, she sent him, to Dallas on a one way ticket. Without any approvals from me. No, I had no idea she was just going to ship off a brother I’d not seen in 20 years for me to take care of now that he was underfoot and not earning.
Before Carol stopped working over 15 years ago (if you don’t consider cheating my brother a carreer), Carol was a financial planner and managed two Edward Jones locations. She has maintained her own retirement accounts so I am sure she looks real good on paper. After requesting the records, I was the money trails of her transferring cash over from their joint account to her own personal account month after month, year after year. She was entrusted with assuring they had a good retirement to fall back on. But I guess she was just concerned that SHE had a good retirement.
He arrived in Dallas with $60.00 in his wallet. And that would be it.
Now that he is getting some social security payments, I have been sending in payments toward his balance, as he has enough money left over to do so.
But now I receive all these ‘demand’ letters, telling me I am late in paying and how my cooperation is urgently needed. NOTHING in this world is more urgent than death. Honestly people! These balances are small. They are the residual of what is left AFTER Carl’s insurance paid you the bulk. Let it go.
Carol had supposedly paid all his old medical balances. And now, each week I get letters forwarded where she has scratched her address (that my brother paid for) off the bills. Keep in mind, these are bills my brother has never seen, never got the original or what was or wasn’t filed with insurance so we are pretty much having to trust that you are not overcharging.
Her is the plan. While he breathes air, I will, unless further harassed, continue to pay based upon whatever cash is available, monthly or bi monthly, until he either expires or you are paid off. ALL further payments stop if I get even one more call or harassing letter over this.
The man doesn’t have a credit rating to F with. And I doubt where he is going an 800 credit score is going to do much for him. So cease and desist with the nasty letters . Got it? Thank you.
Regards,
Karmah
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