LAYOFFS AND FEELINGS

We've been through 8 years of quarterly layoffs at my place of work. I saw friends get hit last week and am waiting for the round in December to see if I get taken out or have a job going into 2010. Then in 2010, I will see how far I last. For years I have continued to do righ by my company, by my customers, continued to work smart, smile and do my very best. Last year, due to lack of people, I put in over 500 non paid overtime hours for free. I am just a worker bee. But watching all of this play out, I had a thought, which makes me feel much better about things and maybe it helps you.

What if, at your company, the CEO, and all the top execs, upper management folks etc, were to just *poof* evaporate one day and not show up to work? What would happen to your company? My guess is the company would continue on, with all the daily business needs being met. Direction at the top could always be hired later, but the business of the day, the orders, implementations, AR, AP, billing and Customer Service functions would all still happen because the people who know what to do, and know where they are with things, would all still be there to do it. Thanks to the worker bee!

Now let's imagine that the CEO and Execs are all still there, but you are not. Imagine every lower manager and all staff *poof* evaporate, right now. What then? My hunch is the business would fold in on itself in less than 48 hours. Work would grind to a screeching halt, with no way to compensate adequately for all the balls right and left being dropped. A company could not survive it. Neither would the CEO and Execs. They don't know how to do what you do and there are not enough of them to get the daily business accomplished.

Now who's really all that important?

Greed is still very much alive in America and it will be our undoing if we cannot relearn how to love our fellow man, take less for ourselves and share. One of my buddies at another company was recetly let go so his upper management could get their bonuses.

I've not had a raise in 3 years and I am ok. I have friends who've taken pay cuts and they still have the same house and car and food on the table. Many of us could take less. Our business leaders could show us all by example if they took paycuts and nixed their bonuses. Or do what Lee Iacocca did and waive an annual salary perhaps.

If you have a job now, save as much as you can and plan as best as you can and contemplate next steps. Do the best work you can do and be proud of what you contribute. This is all you are in control of. And when the ax falls, extend grace under pressure, knowing that all things end, all things change and sometimes something must end in order to create a new beginning.

Whatever dollar figure is currently placed on your head today, when your company is looking to let you go, you can take pride in the fact you have directly helped to build and sustain both your company and the salaries and bonuses your upper guys are getting today. YOU did that. If you do your job correctly, there really isn't anybody working where you do that is more important than you are. If you have done your job with excellence and dilligence, your value is priceless. The fact this may not be recognized by someone laying you off is their karma and not your problem. With faith and balance, you will move on and find your gold elsewhere, you will also sleep good at night.

BAD BAD BAD COMPANY - HOW DTV & PERHAPS OTHER COMPANIES ARE FRAUDULENTLY CHARGING YOU TO TRY TO STAY IN BUSINESS IN THIS ECONOMY

While we are all watching our pocket books, it is a very good time to review all of your statements for hidden fees, hidden rules....and hidden contracts that you, apparently legally, do not have to sign for or be told about!

Here is my DTV story, in hopes that it helps you not have to go through this fiasco I am currently battling. If you are suffering over this kind of situation, I hope you stay strong and don't fall for their game and pay them what you do not owe....because it only encourages their wrongful acts of greed.

ATT Uverse offered me a sweet deal. We'd been with DTV for ages, with two old receivers on life support, occassionally working, occasionally not workin. I called to cancel service in order to switch over to ATT.
DTV offered to match the Uverse deal, provide HD, 2 HD receivers and a DVR and match the pricing. Groovy so far.

Very unfortunately, what actually ensued was only a partial installation by DTV, and damage to my house in installing the sattelite dish, which DTV later paid me for.

As far as matching Uverse as promised? Nope, never happened. What I got was 1 HD receiver, which I was charged $100.00 for, no 2nd receiver and no DVR. Even when i shipped them back the HD receiver, I never received any credit off the $100 I paid them to purchase the receiver ATT provides for free.

I spent months arguing trying to get them to complete the installation. If I paid to get my car worked on and the idiot did half the job, or damaged my car in the process, I would not expect to pay for half arsed shoddy workmanship.

But in this case, DTV will not budge and expects me to pay for my unused months they say I owe them contractually for. It is not enough I continued to pay full price for months of partial service.

The other bone of contention is their discrimination against women. I ordered the service and yet they somehow have my husband's information, perhaps from years ago, which they have continued to refuse to correct.

After about 6 months of this crud, I called to cancel service. (hmmmm, can I legally cancel someone else' service?) DTV, after months of telling us they could not help us with a 2nd HD reciever and DVR, suddenly was very agreeable, telling me they could and would match the Uverse offer. it reminded me of this awful relationship years back I got myself out of....where he was only good if I was threatening to leave. I explained that Uverse had just been installed a few moments ago, in fact the ATT rep was right here in my living room. I explaind how after paying in full on time for years, and how after 6 months of arguing to get my new service fully installed, I no longer trusted them to do what they promise. Then they told me then I was under contract. I retorted I'd not signed anything for this new and only partially installed service and that, as it was only partially installed, I did not consider that I legally had any valid contract at all. In fact, matching ATT as they promised meant that I had no further contract terms because by promising to match, they agreed to no contract term.

DTV, without my authorization, charged my Discover card the $300 bucks for the months they claim I owe them for my term. I sent the $100.00 receiver back to them and never got a refund for it. After months of disputing with Discover and arguing with DTV, they finally removed the charge stating they would issue credit.

Now they've sent my husband to a collection agency, even though, again, it was me who ordered the service and me who cancelled it! Michael had nothing to do with it but be frustrated along with me.

I am, out of principle, refusing to pay and my husband agrees but is absolutely not at all happy this is on his credit report when he had nothing to do with this mess.

ATT Uverse, meanwhile, provided us with 2 HD receivers, a DVR and HD service as they promised to, on the day of the installation. Unlike the 6 months I spent arguing with DTV, I have been able to actually fully use and enjoy the service. We do have a strange thing going on with our remote but I will never ever go back to DTV. I'd rather watch snow.

It is refreshing to do business with a company that actually does what they say they will do, but what is even better...is I am under NO FREAKING CONTRACT AT ALL!!!!! It is business as it should be, I can cancel at any time, for any reason. Oh, and those receivers and DVR? No charge!

There are some greedy companies who are acting crazy these days. Watch out, know your rights and don't let yourself be bullied into paying unfair charges.

I work for a utility company. While we do have contracts, we spell out the terms and if someone cancels due to poor service or an incompleted installation, we waive the contract term fees, it is just common sense and good business.

The bottom line is that many of us "little people" feel helpless in front of a big company. The truth is that, collectively, we are so powerful it is scary. With each purchase made, we are voting, with our cash, voting a bad business off the island or back on. The choice is all yours whom you choose to pay and conitnue to spend your cash with.

If you are unhappy and feeling "stuck" make sure you do not have any credit cards or bank accounts set up for auto drafts. If you do, cancel and change your cards/accounts prior to cancelling your bad service with the bad company. This will prevent them from invalid debits against your account, it is quite the little nightmare to fight.

Lastly, if the company has zero common sense and continues to go after you for money you do not owe them (poor service is a breach of contract) then assure you have documented calls, letters of complaint etc showing you tried to work things out. You can use this as dispute fodder when they go after your credit report.

Pay everything else you owe scrupulously. But to my mind, no body should EVER get away with bullying and threatening your credit ruin to gets any kind of bucks out of you that you truly do not owe.

The greedy will eventually perish....just be patient.

BUYING LOCAL THINKING GREEN 3/50

Hi. Well, I have been rather devoted to the whole buy local movement. The idea is to spend $50.00 per month, between the 3 brick and mortar stores local to you, that you'd be upset about losing from your neighborhood if they closed their doors. I think there are some who will not be able to afford that and others who can spend way more than that (ahem...me...just cuz I love to shop!) So, for those of us currently employed and feelin' spendy, let's help boost our local economy by searching for our need to be met first by local merchants, secondly, by the local big box stores and lastly, online or outside our area. With everyone participating, the results can be huge. We collectively have the power to save businesses and our community. It has been hard to pull myself away from finding the better online deal but in the end, it will be worth it. Loyalty is a great thing. It is wonderful to come into a place where the owner/workers remember and welcome you back. Every purchase we make is a vote. This might get a tad deeper but we can also spend our money where the businesses are trying to go greener. For example, Sprint has just introduced a feature rich green phone for $50 bucks. Every purchase is a vote. We can also give more (as we are each able) to neighbors who may have lost jobs recently. Nobody reads me anyway, but it could happen so I wish you peace. :-)

GREED, BAILOUTS, THE FHA & PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY

I get why FDIC came along, so that citizens feel comfortable depositing their hard earned cash into the banking system, knowing that, in the event the bank fails, thier money is guanteed.

What I do not understand is why the Government is anylonger involved in housing loans of any kind.

We have greedy people who have talked so many of us into buying more house than we can afford, taught us that buying a home and "trading up" every few years is the normal thing to do, that it is just a-ok to get into interest only loans and just plan on paying the interest...only....never touching the principle. We are all making other greedy people very very rich.
Now we have baby boomers, who, per Consumer Reports, are turning 65 at a rate of around 10,000 per day. With more than 80% owning their own home, the greedy people want you to get a reverse mortgage so they can charge you 30k+ in fees and interest and make a killing...all backed by the government. On a reverse mortgage, that hits 98% of the maximum lending limit, the FHA currently pays back the lender 98% of the loan and takes on servicing the loan as long as the borrower lives on the property. With the housing market tumbling, many of these houses are under water, leaving the tax payer to shore up the difference when the property gets sold at less than the amount due.

Unless you are completely desperate, and even then, think on it twice, using your home as a piggy bank is a very bad idea. In my opinion, it seems a better avenue to get a HELOC, pay the 1st Mortgage off, if there is one, then use the HELOC for only what is absolutely necessary. This still means you are tying up your home into a debt that could mean you are evicted if you cannot pay, but at least the fees are considerably less and much more flexible.

If I make a bad investment decision, I suffer personally for it. The government does not bail me out for being stupid. So, I have a difficult time grasping why are we bailing out banks who make the poor choice of providing loans that should not be provided in the 1st place. Should they not be held accountable for their own poor choices too?

Life is risk. Business is risk. The greater the reward, typically, means there is inherently a greater risk involved too. There should not be a free ride here.

Screaming Emotion & What is Right

Hello. Well, today at work, I was screamed at, talked over, told I was inept and just totally disrespected. While I am sure the individual has her own Karma and will be dealt with (on many levels), I was saddened that we could not work together, communicate in a way that helped the business we are both paid to do. In this time of less people to do more with, doesn't it make more sense to get along? Real Simple magazine featured an article on great old philosophers and noted a favourite; Immanuel Kant. RS basically dissected Kant's take on moral issues down to imagining if everyone behaved as you do, everyone followed that same course of action. If I screamed over people I was annoyed with or did not understand on conference calls, and everybody else did too, what would be the outcome? If I lied and everyone else did too, who could be trusted? Therefore, should I scream? Should I lie? No. This was Kant's ethical test called "categorical imperative" which he believed should be applied to every action, as the key to leading a righteous life. So, I extended grace, exited the call, explaining I had work I needed to attend to since we could not have a conversation. Click. I followed up in an email to the team stating it is in our customer's best interest to have a team that works together and can come together with respect. I pushed back in a graceful way. This does not necesarilly come natural; it depends upon the day. But the truth I uphold is that when we extend respect and grace to the fools we must work with, (along with all the absolutely fabulous people who make up the majority) it makes the fool look like what he is...the fool. Regardless of how high your BP is at the moment, you come off very cool and controlled, always a good thing. And the bonus is that, in retrospect, (if the fool ever does that), sometimes the person that is acting the fool will walk away from one of these matches, where they made themselves look stupid and out of control, get that 'aha' moment, heal their own bad behaviour and begin treating both others and themselves much much better! By not mirroring their nasty behavior, not getting down into their level, it forces them to see how they are misbehaving. I want everyone, even the fool, to live their best life. I have been a fool myself. Peace, love, light and joy to you!

Love & Embracing the Mystery

I've learned much with much more to absorb while still here. So many epiphanies and aha moments that I thought I'd share to this wall of void and pehaps someone reads one day and is helped by what's been wrote.

GREAT ROMANTIC LOVE:
We cannot truly love another until we are made whole (or whole as possible) in and of ourselves. Otherwise, we only bring broken pieces of something that could have been great, to it. It takes most of us quite a long time to get there. Many of us shun the self work necessary to get to any level of emotional maturity; a requisite to marriage.
You absolutely DO know it when you see it. The trick is keeping it mental as long as possible to figure out how everything really fits together long term. And after even a decade, you will probably find some things out that you did not know about this person. Any 'deals' you made ahead of marriage (I'll shop for the groceries and you will cook the groceries etc) will probably get changed.
Letting go of expectations is very hard and also necessary. It is almost ZEN but basically, you have to accept and love the core of this stranger you say you love because everything and anything else around this core being is bound to change. Acceptance and unconditional love is what you gain out of this exercise. (That is to say YOU learn how to do that better, not that you ever get this unconditional love back from the person you are giving that to...but it could happen.

Never settle. If you both are not just totally feeling the need, physically, mentally, spiritually for each other, then it is not worth all the bother....because marriage is quite the bother. :-)
One of my friends, when we were both in our 20's, claimed she would never marry and that, if she actually did, then she would live separately in her own house. I was the innocent spiritual romantic and she the jaded girl. I thought she was just sad and nuts for thinking that way. Oh, but now I see her point, grasshopper! Perhaps a better way is to get a duplex or a house in the same neighborhood and visit each other. It keeps the romance alive, you both get your alone time, and decorate as you wish. If you have kids, then devide up the time equally. Or maybe, if your house is big enough, then it works out if one has one wing and one has the other. Each of us has our 'things' that drive the other bonkers and we all do this, even when we are trying very hard not to.
It helps me to step aside and imagine this person on his own without me...imagining what he would do...would he smoke a cigar occasionally in the house? Would he sit quietly and watch shows back to back on his day off? It helps keep me from saying wifey things like "Can you put out that stinking cigar, turn off the flatscreen and go mow the lawn or do something else useful?"
Finding someone I fell deeply madly in love with is the only thing that has saved us. He fell deeply madly in love with me, too or I would have passed...gotta be mutual. But I find now that mutuality shifts, along with everything else. He has a lot of emotional damage from childhood he is currently working through. Another lesson: If you think you got enough councelling to get past something, or you think you don't need counselling, it is not a bad idea to check into it further. We all need the help now and then because we are an embodiment of all our life experiences and how we saw them...traumatic, fun, etc. Sometimes our puzzle parts need shifting so we can live our best life and be our best for others too. And if you never marry, I completely understand why not now....but I cannot say yet that I regret it.

Our Lost Brother - Being Our Brother's Keeper

Whatever spiritual background you have, there is a lot of sense in the statement that we are our brother's keeper. Not in a co-dependent way. I think some of us do too much and need to create and be aware of our own boundaries being crossed, and push back as needed.

We are on this planet together, all of us. Because of that, the oneous is on each of us to reach out to each other, to all living things and extend a bit of grace, a bit of love.

Two neighbors moved from my block, and each one ditched their Tabby cat. One is a full grown adult, another just a kitten. Of course, they ended up on my porch, eating with the strays I feed under the city sanctioned TNR (Trap Neuter Release) program.

Love means commitment to the things we have invited and co-created into our lives. Why do we make false commitments, commitments without fully soul searching in the first place? Yet, if we decide we cannot do this thing we said we would do, that we just cannot stick with it, why then not suck it up and end it as cleanly and humanely as possible? It is the most respectful way, honoring the things, animals and people involved in our decision. For the cats, perhaps they could have been turned over to a no-kill shelter like Animal Kindess instead of left wandering and wondering where to find food and if their owners will come back soon, foistering the problem onto a neighbor who has no clue where to locate a good home for them.

We throw out cars, people, pets. Good things go to waste in America. The mindset of this is not one that will ever bring us true peace. These cats are confused, loving, and a bit nervous because they do not know what happened and why they were left here. They keep going back home and the door does not open for them. They come to me for food and love, but I cannot let them in, I already have too many cats and that would be crossing my freshly minted boundaries. (I cannot become the bleeding heart to the point of in home cat chaos any longer.)

As we work on creating healthy personal boundaries, and what commitments we can truly accept, then follow through with them or end them clean, we build our self worth and help the world around us too. It is all about extending beyond ourselves to full acceptance and love for the goodness of others.

I will find a solid home for these little cats. For the two girls who dumped their pets, I am very angry and I tried to get enough information so I could report them for animal cruelty. I am still working on that. Not because I am bitter, but because of the lesson needing learning here. You do not dump your child or pet off someplace just because you no longer want it in your life; that is selfish behaviour. But apart from my anger, which I am working on mellowing, I feel deeply sorry for them as human beings. How can they ever hope to live their best life when they make the choice not to honor life to begin with?

Random Acts of Kindess

I saw Julie & Julia yesterday and thought "Why not blog about random acts of kindess, thoughts about love and ways to bring about peace, joy and happiness to the planet?"

Last Friday, I smiled at an unknown co-worker, on the way into the building. Then others followed in and I greeted them as well. I noticed everyone's face brightened and particularly the first person, who was before, all focused and serious in his demeanor. My thought was how incredibly simple it was to give joy. So why is it that we more often than we should, choose to push buttons and cause more anger?

I am not very political. But my simple idea is that if each of us extended grace when we otherwise want to scream, if we loved our friends and families, and lived our personal best life, that the entire world would change for the better.

Greed and self centeredness is killing us, killing America for sure. In the simple act of going online to purchase Resveratrol, the people called to harrass me repeatedly about buying more stuff. They were not happy with the $90.00 per month I'd already signed up for! I tried getting them off my line, telling them all I wanted was the Resveratrol but they had to keep going through the sales pitch I did not have time for. It was so disrespectful that I finally told them I did not want the Resveratrol any longer. Yep, I'd rather die 30% earlier than listen to that stupid sales pitch. They kept calling me at work, and hanging up when I did not answer. They would not leave me a message. I asked them to stop but they continued to call. GREED! What did it cost them? A sale. I will find a way to buy and try it later, from somebody else that doesn't try to push me and hard sale me and ignore my rights.

My ongoing endeavor is to extend grace even to these kinds of people, while respecting my own boundaries. I did not yell, scream, just simply asked that they cancel my order, because I had now changed my mind since they were not hearing me.

Whether you are in a store, on the road, in the elevator, this week for grins, let someone in front of you and smile...see what happens. In thinking of and loving others, we get for ourselves too.